Current:Home > My'Fair Play' and when you're jealous of your partner’s work success -Wealth Empowerment Zone
'Fair Play' and when you're jealous of your partner’s work success
View
Date:2025-04-26 08:07:40
That promotion you've yearned for just went to your colleague. That raise you asked for won't hit your bank account after all. That company you were hoping to work at − they rejected you.
Everyone faces job disappointments. But what happens when your partner is killing it professionally, while you're stuck in a rut?
In Netflix's new movie "Fair Play" (now streaming), Emily (Phoebe Dynevor) gets promoted in lieu of her fiancée Luke (Alden Ehrenreich) at their demanding financial firm. While not every scenario will hit as close to home – as not everyone works with their partner – the movie dredges up questions about how we deal with professional jealousy.
Personal insecurity is typically the root of jealousy, according to experts, and it requires unpacking the reasons behind it and talking with your partner to figure out how to best move forward.
"When we experience jealousy, we're really coming up against what we see as threats in our own fear of loss," says Miranda Nadeau, a licensed psychologist. "What could it mean about my career, if someone else is successful? What might I lose, based on what someone else is gaining? Recognizing the underlying dynamics is the first step in moving toward peace."
'Jealousy is a natural human emotion'
First: Don't try and run from your jealous feelings. "Jealousy is a natural human emotion, and treating yourself with kindness when it arises – rather than berating yourself or blaming yourself for being unsupportive – will also help with feeling your feelings in a way that they don't have control over you," Nadeau says.
Those who are jealous feel inadequate in some way, and have "a deep concern that something or someone will be taken away from them," adds Cecille Ahrens, a licensed clinical social worker.
In the case of work success, "it may be helpful to examine what 'stories' or 'beliefs' one might be having about the situation," Ahrens says. What are you telling yourself in your head about your partner's promotion? Are their sexist or otherwise problematic views feeding your irrational thoughts about the situation?
"Evaluate the validity of these stories or beliefs and see if they are in fact true or factual," Ahrens says.
Also consider whether this has come up before in your life, and how. "Are you being triggered or activated by a past event?" Ahrens says. "All of these things can contribute to one’s feelings of jealousy, especially if these feelings are unresolved."
Nadeau adds: "If you can have some openness with your own jealousy, and if you can combine that compassion with trying to empathetically relate to the person you're jealous of, you may find yourself experiencing compersion, or sympathetic happiness for others' joy."
In case you missed:How to stop jealousy from destroying your relationship
'Avoid blaming or accusing'
If you're looking to at least somewhatquell your jealousy so you can be happy for your partner, consider practicing gratitude. Nadeau suggests "making a gratitude list of 10 things you're grateful for, perhaps in the domain where you're experiencing jealousy, or keep a gratitude journal of five things each day that you can appreciate." After some internal work on the roots of your jealousy, where do you go next?
Of course, Talk with your partner about how you're feeling before jealousy jumps out of you into biting comments or worse, a fit of rage.
"Avoid blaming or accusing them of wrongdoing. Instead, focus on your emotions and how you want to address them together," Sara Kuburic, a relationship expert, previously wrote in a column for USA TODAY. "Remember, feeling jealous is nothing we need to apologize for but we do need to ensure that our actions are still respectful and authentic."
Ahrens adds: "Communicating your underlying fears and concerns with your partner can help you receive the support and reassurance you need from your partner. Focusing on the things that you enjoy and experiences that add meaning and happiness to your life outside of the relationship is often helpful."
Overall, remember not to be too hard on yourself. Everyone dances with that green-eyed monster once in awhile. "Experiencing jealousy is not 'good' nor 'bad,'" Ahrens says. "It usually signals that something in our life needs attention or healing."
Uh oh:Are you ruining your relationship without even realizing it?
veryGood! (5856)
Related
- San Francisco names street for Associated Press photographer who captured the iconic Iwo Jima photo
- Amy Schumer says criticism of her rounder face led to diagnosis of Cushing syndrome
- AT&T to offer customers a $5 credit after phone service outage. Here's how to get it.
- A school bus driver dies in a crash near Rogersville; 2 students sustain minor injuries
- Mets have visions of grandeur, and a dynasty, with Juan Soto as major catalyst
- Buffalo Wild Wings to give away free wings after Super Bowl overtime: How to get yours
- Students walk out of Oklahoma high school where nonbinary student was beaten and later died
- Walz signs his first bill of the 2-week-old legislative session, fixes error to save taxpayers $350M
- Meta donates $1 million to Trump’s inauguration fund
- Walz signs his first bill of the 2-week-old legislative session, fixes error to save taxpayers $350M
Ranking
- Can Bill Belichick turn North Carolina into a winner? At 72, he's chasing one last high
- Fort Wayne Mayor Tom Henry says he has late-stage stomach cancer
- NASCAR Atlanta race ends in wild photo finish; Daniel Suarez tops Ryan Blaney, Kyle Busch
- United Daughters of the Confederacy would lose Virginia tax breaks, if Youngkin signs off
- Trump suggestion that Egypt, Jordan absorb Palestinians from Gaza draws rejections, confusion
- Loretta Lynn's Granddaughter Auditions for American Idol: Here's How She Did
- USWNT vs. Mexico: Live stream, how to watch W Gold Cup group stage match
- Florida Man Games: See photos of the the wacky competitions inspired by the headlines
Recommendation
New Zealand official reverses visa refusal for US conservative influencer Candace Owens
You can get a dozen doughnuts from Krispy Kreme for $2.29 on Leap Day. Here's how.
Three-man, one-woman crew flies to Florida to prep for Friday launch to space station
Michigan will be purple from now until November, Rep. Debbie Dingell says
Could Bill Belichick, Robert Kraft reunite? Maybe in Pro Football Hall of Fame's 2026 class
Students walk out of Oklahoma high school where nonbinary student was beaten and later died
Los Angeles Clippers reveal rebranded logo, uniforms to be worn starting 2024-25 season
Francia Raísa Gets Candid on Her Weight Fluctuation Amid PCOS Battle